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My plea to the universe (and all the kind souls within) goes like this: 

I am a 35 year old mother of two with no formal education. I have had a long weird life, filled (mainly in the beginning) with some pretty terrible circumstances I rarely disclose. I have lived in 55 different houses and I went to 35 public schools, finally leaving school at the end of 11th grade, declaring emancipation from my parents and launching myself into the strange, hectic world of low-wage hell (usually 3 jobs at a time.)

As dire as all that sounds I still worked very hard and even bought a house. I spent my 21st birthday on the floor of that house, marveling at what I had managed. I got married. I had a baby at home (it was an amazing experience.) I kept the house for 3 years before I finally had to give it up because we just could not afford it.

I started over, from the beginning. I had another baby (at home again, water birth, also incredible.) I went through a bankruptcy, a divorce, a gut wrenching split where I ended up homeless, broke and terrified. My ex-husband gained residential custody and I was left without any legal representation and no family to turn to.

I started over again. I paid my child support, I found a decent office job in a giant mega corporation. I learned how to do credit card dispute arbitrations and I got an apartment of my own. I negotiated more time with my children and got it. I worked my ass off. I paid my bills. I did not allow my lack of "formal" education to stop me from moving forward (I may not have had the paper to back it up, but I am very smart, and have never stopped learning). I started a new relationship that lasted 6 years but then ended because neither of us felt connected anymore and my kids never really bonded with him.

I reconnected with the love of my life (seriously, I could type out an entire volume on that alone.) My kids adore him, and I love his daughter and his entire family. They are the family I always wanted and the appreciation is mutual on both sides.

My employer decided it was time to start voting everyone off Cube Island. I left my corporate job with a severance package and unemployment. I started all over, again.

I wrote three plays, all of them produced and well received/reviewed, but they never earned me any money. I make dolls and jewelry and rugs, but have not managed to sell one thing to a stranger - only well meaning friends (and I love them even more for doing that). I work as a personal assistant for a woman who can't afford my services and fights me on every dollar (even though I am pricing myself at least six bucks less per hour than the lowest posted wage my market research suggests.)

I want to move back to my home state and marry my sweetie and live in the same house, and hang out with his family around the dining room table, playing board games and talking about movies and books and eating amazing food (how lucky I am that his family shares the same loves I do). I have been missing him since I was 19 and made the choice to stick with the man who would go on to become my ex-husband instead of being honest with myself and picking the man who was (and still is) my best friend. We have been maintaining a committed long distance relationship for 2 years now. Neither of us are rich, neither of us can move. He would be giving up access to his daughter, his family, his teaching job and his theatre work if he came here. And I would be giving up an apartment I love, and have been in for 4 years, the longest I have ever been in one place, in a city I have grown to love, which is also full of amazing families whose children play and grow and learn with mine.

I can not make my ex move, I can not take my children, I can not leave them, Instead I wait until the youngest has graduated, and then I go home. Seven years from now.

In the meantime, I have to make a living, keep a house, maintain my sanity and figure out how to make myself financially secure. I have less than 40 bucks in my checking account. I have two kids who spend half their time with me. I am behind on my child support. I have 8,000 in credit card debt. I am scared, lonely and drowning.

I have no idea how all this will work, I just know that it will. It always does. And I am typing all of this out to the universe because I have no other place to put it. I have amazing friends, but I can't ask for help. I mean, they might help me but I would never tell them I need help or ask for it. The words stick in my throat and they never come out. I am the helper. I am not comfortable asking for help. I have never been comfortable asking for help. It turns me into an inarticulate, blubbering idiot. It makes me feel broken and wasteful and not worth a damn. I learned the hard way to just never ever ever do it. It makes people uncomfortable. I hate making people feel obligated. The help I need is financial, and none of my friends have money. I would never ask. They would have to say no because no one is in a position to give me money. I would feel terrible for making them have to say no. And really, what right do I have, now or ever, to expect anyone to do that for me? 

I have been through worse things. I have lived through them. I will be OK. But right now? In this second? Just straight up financial terror. I want to make more of this moment, and all the moments that follow. I am looking at a long stretch of Taking Care of Myself, and frankly that freaks my shizz right out. I have a lot to figure out. It takes a lot to be a human, in this all too brief time we have to do it all in, and I am already aware that what I have is real, honest, true love, enough for me and all the amazing people in my life. I could be the richest person in the world and still wonder if anyone really "gets" me or loves me or is honestly concerned for my well being, and if I were rolling in cash I could not buy what I have. I have love and respect. I have given and received. I am blessed and honored and grateful, even when things seem ridiculous. It's just money right? Just stupid paper with numbers on them? It's just more waiting, and making the best of that time. I have a lot to do. I have a lot to learn. I honestly care about other people, and I know other people honestly care about me. What else is there, really? I want a hand up, not a hand out. If I can't work for it, it's not really mine. 

Thanks for listening. 

My family is finally going to be reunited soon, and we will be starting over. My 2 daughters and I have been apart from my fiance, the man on of the house for a very long time. He was in a severe car accident in Jan 09 and has been gone for over a year. He is coming back soon and we will all be under the same roof once again. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. My fiance Reggie has catastrophic injuries from the accident and is going to need full time care. he is pretty much a paraplegic. The state is going to pay me to be his caregiver, but Im also going to have to keep my current job as a waitress. Money is going to be very tight and its all going to be on me, im a little scared. But I do want him to come home, we all miss him so much. I know it's going to be a lot of work but I am ready and willing to do this.

Hi i am posting without my sister's knowledge because i know that she will never ask for help. she is a very dedicated mom and has been a dedicated wife to her husband for many years. The problem is, its been a very emtionally and mentally abusive relationship. She hid it well til recently. She puts everyones needs ahead of hers and she puts her kids #1 ahead of herself. That and knowing he is gone for X amount of time she mentioned that if she could do this then the rest she knows she can do. But as of now she dont know.

Her husband has taken a job out of the country and she has decided that this is prime chance to try to get her and her children ready to leave. Problem is she has no self confidence anymore and is sure she will never get a job that is able to support them due to one of the controlling factors her husband allowed.

My sister like myself and my younger sister has a issue with tooth degeneration. She went through a couple years of scalings and such but her husband would grumble about the cost and such. When the cost of extractions came up he literally refused to discuss it.

Over time and pregnancy she is basically lost them all except as she puts it the stubs left. She is beautiful and eager to better herself and her kids lives , but as he has made her believe "no one or no job is gonna want her with no teeth like they are" she really needs this done.

She is in hampton roads , va area. But she cant let him know she is doing this because she doesnt want any recoil because this is all in a attempt to leave a very bad situation.

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated and helpful.

I writing today because I have a friend in need. She had a pretty good life but buckled under pressure(kids, work,nursing school,home,etc). She went down a rough road and now she is trying to get back on track. She's working on getting her LPN license renewed because they lapsed. She has the ability to have a good job but is stuck with no transportation. Her ex seems to enjoy kicking her every chance he gets and he's no angel. I'm on disability myself and limited with help I can give. Just looking for some options for her!!!! Any help would be really appreciated!!!! I believe there's never dead ends just new beginnings.

I have had to go on my own because of a bad marriage. we had a house that got foreclosed and really bad credit. He took everything from the house and i have to start all over. I am behind on my car payments and thats my bread and butter. i know i can do this, i just need to get back on my feet and be able to live ok. I am 49 years old and working. i tried to get a part time job but no one is hiring. i am not afraid of working hard. If anyone out there has a partime job please give me a chance. i just want to get back on my feet and be able to live an ok life. not  looking to live high just in a nice decent place. He did his taxes and took credit for everything and now i have a 3,000 federal payment to do. please help and i promise that when i am doing good i will help someone thanks for reading and God bless

Hi my name is Lisa , I was living with a roomate for six months and she was my best friend for 5 years. My roomate got into trouble  and was sent to jail  while she was in jail I took care of her 8 month year old son. I bailed her out and b/c I was takomg care of her son I lost my job. So all the money I had I put into to diapers and milk for her son. After two weeks she moved out and took EVERTHING that we had bought for the apartment she even took the bed that she had given me. So Im asking for help..... I dont have anything starting over, But dont have money.

I have a very special friend of mine, who has been there in every time of need for me.  I am currently going through divorce and have a 15 year old son.  I am trying to clean up my credit, and as soon as I start paying some of my bills, I get slammed with such a huge bill.  I recently got in the mail a ticket that I had gotten 8 years ago, they tell me I owe it, its $914.00 and another one, that I am still investigating for $826.00.  I am trying to refinace my car.  I recently got a speeding ticket, and that is $412.00  I am struggling with a new buisness I started, and am working full time.  My son wants to go to basketball camp, which is $400, and I just dont see how I am going to pay all this.  I am also having to go to parenting classes with my Ex husband, because of our communication, that cost $195.00.  They are going to work with me on a payment arrangement. I need about a $5000 loan.  I would like to pay off these debts, and some others.  I will pay it all back. Please let me know if you can help.  I want to build my credit, and purchase a home.  I am making a new beginning, I just need a jumpstart.

Thank you.

I am a 28 year old mother of a beautiful soon to be 4 year old girl.  I am in desperate need of assistance.  I was let go from my job withem them telling me it was because I was part time. Denied unemployment because my former job told them that it was lack of performanace.  I have made the decision to move to Texas because I feel that this is the best thing to do for my daughter and myself.  I have talked to an AWESOME real estate agent and have found the perfect apartment for us.  The problem is that I don't have the $850 security deposit to make the apartment ours.  If anyone can help or can help me figure out a way to attain this I would be greatful.  This move would enable me to go back to school to better myself and assure this would never happen again.  I can handle the rent and the bills..I just need to get the deposit.  I am willing to do anything in all legal and moral realms.

I am a mom of three wonderful kids.I am in a abusive marriage and trying to find a way out.I am only 30 and on disability so even with child support i do not know how i am going to afford it alone.My kids deserve a better life and i can't stand the thought of losing them.I found a house in another county and do not need a security deposit if i clean it first,but i do need utility deposits and everything to start over. The local charities wont help because they say i am not a local resident.I move on the third of next month and worried my kids will have nothing.If anyone knows of any help out there please let me know.

Well where does one begin to ask for help...Its funny I have always been the one to reach into my wallet and the first give without question.  Well now the shoes on the other foot and I am the one asking ... I moved here a few months ago and still unable to find any work..   I have gone on many interviews, and yet I have not gained any employment.  I don't want to have to go on welfare to make it so I am moving where there are many job oppertunities So I am happy to say that I have found a roommate and I have several interviews waiting on me when I get there on ...the only problem I have is I need GAS money...With the gas prices rising its going to cost me a little over $350 dollars.  I believe in paying it forward.... so what ever you can send ...please send... Every dollar counts... yayame1226@yahoo.com ..Thank you for helping me ..

Rita  

Currently i'm a 34 year old single mother of two girls. I'm from New York but currently reside in Rhode Island because of marriage now divorced looking to start new in another state. Because of what i want to do, which is open a full service spa, I was looking to move to the DC area or probably the surrounding states Maryland or Virginia. I found out that a cosmo school (Dudleys) that i would like to goto is there...so i feel that would be a great opportunity for me. Since I know what direction i want to go I'm currently researching different services that might help me open my business when im ready. So if anyone reads this I hope you can give me some direction in which way to go....Have a blessed day

A WOMAN WITH DREAMS

I have been searching for a way to get myself back to a free of debt place. I was widowed in 2003. My life fell apart. I had to sell everything, house, cars etc. I got enough money to "barter" a bill down from a credit card company. I got zapped with taxes on that! I have no job. I did for awhile but I can't make it. I have been trying to start a business and have been shot down.

I have now lost a small house I loved and went through bankruptcy. I just want to start over. I finally found a great love of my life and we can't get married till I get this mess cleared up. My 17 year old want to go to college.

I am an artist. I have been doing graphics for the last 20 plus years and now I have become a dinosaur, because I can not keep up with all the up grades on the graphics programs. I worked for a embroidery co. franchise before my husband died and I even learned to digitize then the owner of the store I worked for went belly up.

Every corner I have turned I have been slammed down. No one will give me a loan and I have been doing art work making fairies and fairy house that are awesome and I can't get out there to promote myself.

I need $5,600 in taxes and $2,600 for a emergency dental bill. Once I get these things paid off I can see more clearly, because right now... I understand how some people have curled up and died or take their own lives over the walls we have met to get back on track. There are alot of people out there that want your money and not enough to sit down with to help you through it.

My fairies were created out of spiritual asking for what you want from the universe and you will get it and it is true you will. I have made alot of people happy and I know I can make alot more happy. I ask myself for what I need and want. Yes, I do get some things and I hope the ultimate quest for paying bills off can come true.

I am asking now to the universe...I need help and I feel I am worth it!

www.juliesfairies.homestead.com

thank you for your time.

Julie

I have to come up with 165.00 to cover my rent by the end of today. I get paid Tuesday and will gladly pay someone back.  But my landlord wont take a check and I have no where else to turn. I need it in the next 2 hrs. Please I am good for the money. I am starting over and it's hard getting everything together all at once, it is a slow process but I just need this one thing to help. 

     My marraige has been falling a part for the past 5 years, and because of this I have been forced to go thru some very rough times.  I am raising my 14 year old daughter and this has all been very, very hard on both of us. Last January I lost my job and was forced to go on state aid while looking for another one.  However it was not enough to pay rent.  My ex helped with the difference until he lost his job in June. So in July and August I was unable to pay the full amount of my rent. At the end of August I started working again, I love my job and I am very good at it. The pay is decent, however no sooner did I start there, when the Franchise Tax Board of California started garnishing my paychecks for back taxes. I was asked to move out of my apartment by the end of September. But my landlord did not evict me.  I stayed in a motel for the first month but it was too expensive and I could not afford it. A friend said my daughter and I could stay there and my cats could stay in the garage.  So we have been there since.  On January 31, my last check will be garnished and by February 15 I will be at my full pay again.  My friend lives in a house his mothers owns and she has now said my daughter, my cats and myself have to be out by this weekend January 20,21.  I am so close to being able to stand on my feet and make a life for my daughter and myself. Just 1 month, after 5 years of hell. But I now find myself with no where to go for that month and no where to keep my cats,  I don't have enough for a down payment on a place yet and my credit is not the best so I cant just move in anywhere. I am asking for one time assisstance to be given the chance to start again. Something to help this last month, somewhere to stay, and somewhere to keep my cats, they were there for me when I was at my lowest and I hand raised them since birth, I have 2. Can someone help me, advise me, get me into an apartment that allows pets in Castro Valley Ca?  Give my daughter and I a chance for a happy life starting over.  Thank you,

I am starting over without much.  I am in fear of a man who has threatened to harm me.  He was prosecuted and has been released from jail. I could use any help out there. Even if just a prayer.    My life has been turned upside down and I am desperate for my wellbeing.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  any help would be extremely appreciated.  I recently had to change my phone # and make it unlisted.  My biggest hardship right now is not having a vehicle to get back and forth to work.  I live in the Pacific Northwest where the rain will start soon and without transportation (the bus doesnt run to my job) I will have a hard time making it.  My  Ex was the moneymaker and I took care of the home.   I just need a little help getting started.  I know there are good things ahead for me if I can just catch up a bit.  Money...advice...prayers...an old beater car to donate...anything.  Thank you for hearing me.

 Hello. I'm looking for help. I'm a single mother of 2 - a 6 year old boy and a 4 month old boy. When I found out I was pregnant with my last child, I was told I couldn't stay in the home I was in anymore, so I had no choice but to move into my mother's home. I've been trying to make a new life for my children and myself, but so far, I've been unsuccessful. If you can help me in any way, please do so. IT WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!

 Barbara

I am seeking any type of scholarship or Grant that might assist me in going back to school and furthering my career to better my life.. I have struggled so much in the past 10 yrs that I have come to the conclusion that the only way is to get a higher education and further my career in Nursing.. I want to also give back to the Medical Field what was taken from me 10 yrs ago.. I lost a child to Truncus Arterious.  She was 14 days old God Bless her.. Please I am desperate in my need.. I have a defaulted student loan due to a bad divorce.. I am trying everything I can..